Most of us are familiar with all those captious thoughts that always tell us that we are not good enough, that put a doubt on our goals and weaken our accomplishments. These thoughts could be there to greet us when we first see ourselves in the mirror in the morning. These thoughts might be like, “you are so fat”, “you are unattractive”, “you are a slob, just look at your face, hair, waistline, hips,” and blablabla…
Such inner critic might meet you at the workplace or in any work that you do. In result to this, you may either come under too much pressure, or you will never get everything done, and no one even can notice you and you may just give up on your goal. It is also there to critique your closest relationships. With it, you thought like, “am I the only one whose appearance and disappearance does not matter to anyone.” Or sometimes thought that “he/she does not even love you. No one cares about you.” It will never last. Just don’t be feckless.
From the recent studies, it is clear that every person is divided; the first part of us is self-possessed and goal-directed, while another one is self-denying, self-critical and even self-destructive. Such “anti-selfness” perpetuates a negative thought process that refers to as the “critical inner voice.” A self-criticism is a good thing, but an excess of it leads to backfire, as it tends us to focus on our so-called failures instead of those small ways from which we can improve. Also, the self-trash-talk associated with the higher levels of stress and even depression.
It is fact that women have more inner negative voices than men, it is because we have been socialized not to stand out, so when we search to do so, our inner voice challenges us. But we do not have to live with the sound of this murmuring crow. We can do many things to soften or silence that negative voice. Here are the few tips you can do to manage your inner critic:
Almost everyone has heard about the term “Anxiety”. However, it’s a fact that only few of us know exactly what this word means and how it can affect our life. Anxiety is a common problem that is faced by both men and women. But, it is observed that women experience much more anxiety than men. Being a woman, we all have gone through some situations where we felt stressed out, nervous or worried. Those situations could be a school exam, an interview, giving an audition in front of a huge crowd, or any other similar situation. But, in case it happens with you very frequently then it must not be ignored. Let’s understand this term “anxiety”, its causes and diagnosis in detail.
What is Anxiety?
Anxiety can be defined as a state of feeling uneasiness, stressed, fretful or worried. These are the most common symptoms of anxiety. It is estimated that women are more likely to suffer from anxiety as compared to men. Every ‘one’ of ‘three’ women has anxiety and every ‘one’ of ‘five’ men faces anxiety problem.
Some common causes of anxiety in women:
Hormonal Changes: Compared to men, women experience more fluctuation in hormones. It is found that anxiety often occurs during the periods of significant hormonal change. These hormonal changes include menopause, pregnancy, adrenal fatigue, thyroid etc. Anxiety is one of the results of these hormonal changes.
Thinking Habits: Women are more inclined to have negative thinking, emotional feeling, self- criticized and think more about the stressful situations.
Low Testosterone: Anxiety and depression are the symptoms of low testosterone in women. Men are not the only ones who need testosterone. Women also make it in smaller amounts, and it provides lifelong benefits, including reduced anxiety.
We live in the society where caste has always ruled over the purity of love; we live in a country where people prefer to kill their kids rather than allowing them to get married to a person they love. Every now and then we can hear the stories of the victims of this harsh culture that believes that the caste is above anyone’s happiness.
Falling in love is not a crime…
Falling in love is natural, and you are not committing a crime if you love a person from the bottom of your heart.
Most of the time, a person in love does not reveal that he/she loves someone who do not belong to his/her caste just because of the pressure of society. At the end, they just end their relationship for the sake of the fake “Aan, Baan and Shaan” (reputation) of their family.
Some couples who even go for fighting for their love are suppressed by their families either emotionally or by physical torture. And, if they go against them even after all the drama of their family, they get killed by their own parents or family members.
Whether it’s the matter of love life or your relationship with your family and friends, the only thing most people try to find is the ‘Happiness’. We tend to incline towards the person with whom we feel happy. However, this is not the case for everyone. Many of us would say, “I am not happy with anyone or anything in my life”, yes its the fact. I myself is the biggest example of the kind of person who literally was not happy with anyone or with anything in my life. However, after getting the blues for 25 years of my life, and after analyzing several things by my own experiences, I came to realize that our happiness is in our own hands.
How To Be Happy In Life?
If you really want to be happy with your life, the very first thing you need to understand is that the life can’t be perfect; neither yours nor mine and not even for anyone in this world. Once you understand this key point, you will for sure feel great! You have food to eat, a cozy bed to sleep and of course the accessibility to internet via which you are able to read this article…think about the people who can’t even arrange their bread and butter, think about those who have no roof over their head and you will feel like you are the happiest person in the entire world.
Another big cause of sorrow is the feeling of selflessness. Yes, you heard it right. Sometimes, putting the needs and wishes of others over yours could be the biggest cause of unhappiness and disappointments. I am not saying that you should stop thinking about your loved ones, I am not saying that you should be selfish, but yes, I am saying that you should be concerned more about yourself rather than thinking all the time about everyone else. Once you will start giving time to yourself, once you’ll start keeping your wishes above everything else, you will definitely see a big change in your life.
When it comes to happiness, being financially independent is another thing that comes in my mind. I have seen women who do not work and are completely dependent on their husbands or children. Since they do not earn, they can’t even buy a simple thing that would bring a smile to their face. Every time they think of getting anything, they have to ask for it. On the other hand, if you are independent, you would be able to fulfill your small dreams, and believe me, nothing is more pleasing than fulfilling your dreams with your own, with your own money.
The last yet another important thing that itself has the potential to ruin your joy, or to fill your heart with all the happiness of life is your love relationship. Get rid of a person who do not value you, get rid of someone who do not care about your dreams, your goals, separate yourself from the one who always makes you cry. Yeah baby, don’t ruin your life for someone who is not worthy, you deserve ultimate love, you deserve the care and you deserve to be happy in your life!
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Sick? Still need to go out? Don’t worry; you can look incredible even when you do not feel good. Find out the ways to do so and never let the world get the clue that you are not well…
Puffy eyes? Try these remedies
Puffy eyes are just enough for anyone to guess that you are ill, however, you can easily treat them by utilizing the tea bags. Put two used tea bags in refrigerator for about thirty minutes and let them lie down over your eyelids for about 15 minutes. This is the simplest remedy to get your eyes de-puffed. You can also opt for cucumber slices; the enzymes present in cucumber will help getting rid of puffiness instantly.
Even if you haven’t been through sexual harassment, there are the chances that you might know someone who has faced such situation. Statistics suggest that seven in every ten women across India are sexually harassed by someone. It is also a bitter fact that a big portion of such violence takes place within the family or are mostly attempted by acquaintances.
It’s truly hard to believe that someone you trust the most has sexually assaulted you or your near ones. This could not only bring about extreme stress, but could also raise the feeling of guilt in the mind of the victim. The abuser could factually be anyone, including your brother, your uncle, your cousin and even your father.
In order to fight against this abuse, every single girl across the globe must understand well what the sexual harassment is, and must break the silence against these toxic people in order to make them realize that women are not weak.
What exactly the term means?
The sexual harassment is not compulsorily rape, it could involve touch and gestures that are intended to offend or hurt you. The harassment is always focused on things such as a person’s body parts, appearance or sexual activity.
The abuse could be verbal when someone tries to make inappropriate comments about your physical appearance or body parts, and it gets physical when someone tries to touch you against your will.
Understand their behavior
Whether it’s their language or jokes, whether it’s the way they talk or the way they look at you, anything or any behavior that makes you uncomfortable is nothing but sexual harassment.
Touching, grabbing, pinching and deliberately trying to kiss are a few other ways these people use to harass someone. These are a few common behaviors of a so called relative or family member who only wants to fulfill his sexual desires and who puts his sexual needs above all important relationships.
Females generally couldn’t speak up against the sexual harassment due to the fear of society or the fear of being misunderstood.
Some women couldn’t tell the world what they are going through because of their shy nature and sometimes it’s also because of the fear of other family members about whom she already knows that they won’t understand. These are a few reasons why most women retain this burden inside them and even keep on tolerating sexual assault without saying a single word. But, the fact is, this is your life and you have to justify what’s going wrong with yourself. Be brave enough to take a stand for yourself and ultimately for the society, oppose everything you feel is going in a wrong way.
How to oppose
Opposing sexual harassment is not easy, especially in the case when you know that the person who is doing so is someone who belongs to your own family. Even after getting harassed for the first few times, you will try to convince yourself that it’s not true or you might have misunderstood the things. But, it’s not how you think. Try to listen what your inner voice says, try to understand the thing that might have broken you every time you have been harassed. Do not ignore your soul’s tears and take action right away.
If the person is trying to touch you or even if he stares at you with the wrong intention, try to tell them calmly that you do not like this attitude and you simply do not feel comfortable. If the things do not get better, be stricter, look directly into his eyes and tell him what you feels. Be confident while putting your points as they may try to cut your points or may try to prove you wrong. Tell him that you are not going to be terrified and you will show his face to the world. Remember; before you go for this direct communication; involve some of your close friends into the matter, call them and keep the phone call active during the entire conversation.
Try explaining your other family members what had happened to you and again be very confident while putting your points. Finally, if the things still don’t get well, go for the legal help.
Its utmost important for a woman to tell the world what she has faced, this is the only way you can make the society a better place to live.
A message to family and friends of the victim
Recovering and dealing with a thing like sexual harassment requires lots of support, time and strength. Family and friends play a great role in helping a victim getting recovered from this mental trauma.
It’s only you who can understand what your loved one has been through and it’s only you who can make her feel comfortable. Your support and love can help her get back to a normal life as soon as possible.